Do you think of yourself as “Type A?” I know I certainly do.

As I started blogging again this summer, I started to notice a pattern in the way I think.

I know that I have always categorized myself as “Type A.” When I looked it up, some of the characteristics made me shudder, but unfortunately the more I thought about those ones, the more I realized they are true and they’ve given me something to think about.

According to verywell mind (https://www.verywellmind.com/type-a-personality-traits-3145240#traits-of-type-a-behavior) and many other psychology reports, here are the most common Type A Traits:

• Time Urgency and Impatience, as demonstrated by people who, among other things, get frustrated while waiting in line, interrupt others often, walk or talk at a rapid pace, and are always painfully aware of the time and how little they have to spare.
• Free-Floating Hostility or Aggressiveness which shows up as impatience, rudeness, being easily upset over small things, or ‘having a short fuse,’ for example.
• Competitiveness: these people need to “win” at everything from work to relationships, even if these activities aren’t inherently competitive.
• Strong Achievement-Orientation: Type A people tend to get their feelings of self-worth from what they achieve.
• A Need for Dominance: Many Type A people try to show dominance in business and personal interactions, disregarding the wishes and needs of others in favor of their own.

OUCH! Right?! Some of those hit me right where it hurts. My initial first 3 reads through the list I read each one and felt extreme negativity.

It wasn’t until reading it again and again, did I realize that I can use these traits as superpowers.

Lately, my Type A personality has felt like a sickness. Looking back on my past, I realized that every time I was able to overcome an obstacle, it was because I was able to use my Type A personality for its strengths and control my mindset over the negativity that can come with it.

Here’s what’s been happening in my brain lately:

• I hope I’m in the right career. I love what I do so much, but I’m not producing results as quickly as I think I should be
• When will I feel financially stress free?
• I am sick of this sleep homework. I still check the clock every night and calculate how much sleep is left. Why can’t I sleep in an extra hour or two on the weekend instead of a 4:20am wake up?
• I slept in a couple times this weekend and feel like a failure. Why did I do that? I would have accomplished so much more. I wasted the day.
• I don’t think it has to do with my sleep timing. I think it’s my brain!
• Why do I always feel the need to follow the rules?
• Why do I worry about waking up early tomorrow to accomplish something for work?
• Why am I worried about the long run that I don’t have to do until Saturday?
• Why am I thinking about tomorrow, instead of enjoying today?
• Why can’t I shut my brain off and just enjoy the damn moment?

It’s hit me hard this weekend that I need to work on my mindset a lot more than I thought. I need to silence the negative parts of my Type A Personality and focus on the positive.

I realized this because Marc and I got the chance to spend an entire day, just the two of us in Lake Geneva. We had so much fun. I felt calm and relaxed and didn’t worry too much about what needed to get done the next day. When I woke up on Sunday though, I was a different person. I slept longer than my sleep doctor said I should have so immediately beat myself up for that. In turn, I felt sluggish and upset about that and couldn’t let it go. I felt sad on Sunday and it was hard to admit and even pinpoint why. I felt as if reality came crashing back down on me and all I could think about was everything that needed to get done from laundry, to work, to groceries, etc. I couldn’t shut my mind up. Rather than express gratitude for the Saturday I had, I just couldn’t let everything I was feeling go.

It’s time for me to practice something I learned years ago when I was learning to gain control of my eating disorder. I learned that I have two voices in my head. One encouraging the self-attack and one that needed to speak up and silence it.

I’m going to work on it. Constantly looking ahead and trying to plan rather than allowing myself to fully embrace the moments I’m in is something I’ll regret if I don’t make some changes.

I’m not 100% sure how I’m going to do this yet, but I’ll update you on my progress.

Rather than see these as negative traits, I need to focus on how to make them my superpowers. (My superpowers are in parenthesis, followed by how I need to shift my mind when negativity surfaces.)

• Time Urgency and Impatience: (Gives me the courage to do things like talk to people at the train station that I’ve never met before) A meal a day with Marc and your activities that produce results are urgent, focus on those first. Be patient Jacqie. You are putting in the time and effort and as long as you continue to do the activities that you know will produce results, the success you are determined to get will come. Good things take time.
• Free-Floating Hostility or Aggressiveness: (Allows me to be unapologetically me, when in my past I would have silenced my true opinion to save the feelings of those I was around) Speak your mind respectfully. You’re opinion is important. Do not change who you are to accommodate someone else. Channel the anger or stress and use it to fuel your running and boxing workouts. Also, remind yourself that you don’t know what others are going through.
• Competitiveness: (Gives me the drive and determination to SHOW UP everyday and put in the work) It’s okay to be competitive and surround yourself with those that are better than you. It’s only then you will learn.
• Strong Achievement-Orientation: (By charting my progress, I see how far I’ve come and how much further I have to go) Look at how far you’ve come in one year and know that it’s only going to grow bigger.
• A Need for Dominance: (Fuels me with passion and determination to create a successful career and impact others in a positive way on a daily basis) It’s okay for others to help you. Embrace the ideas of others and you too will be better because of it. Dominate what you are in control of and do not worry about the things you cannot change.

Can you relate to anything I shared today? If so, what do you do to control your thoughts?