Testing Positive For COVID-19
What a time to write a blog post right?!
Well, when you’re quarantined with COVID and starting to go nuts feeling trapped, you begin to think, what can I do to keep my mind off of things.
Yes, that’s right, I said it. I found out this morning that I tested positive for COVID-19. I have thought long and hard deciding if it’s something I wanted to share or not and ultimately decided to share my side of the virus.
I started feeling symptoms over a week ago today. I had a sinus headache and had been feeling a bit stressed trying to fit in as much as I could at work before the Thanksgiving Holiday (which I was so looking forward to). I attributed the headache and a bit of tiredness to allergies and pushing hard like I typically do. I kept my mask on at work and thought it would go away because when I took Advil, my headache lessened, making me think it was for sure allergies.
Marc and I went to a beautiful wedding Friday, where amazing COVID protocols were in place to keep everyone safe. We wore our masks and had a wonderful time.
In the middle of the night on Saturday, I woke up with the chills, then sweating. In the back of my head I thought, it’ll pass, I’ll wake up in the morning and workout as planned. That changed super quickly when my alarm went off and I decided, you know what, I better listen to my body and just go back to bed for a bit. When I woke up, I didn’t feel right, took my temperature (as I had done each day before to be safe) and that morning I had a fever. I immediately went through so many emotions. I thought about all of the people I had been around the night and days before and then knew I had to go get tested and find out as quickly as possible. I drove to 4 Quick Care’s that day and everyone was out of the Rapid Test. I waited for a couple of hours and got tested, thinking I’d know within a few days.
I slept so much that weekend and reached out to work letting them know I wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t come back until I knew my results. Marc and I decided that based on everything we read it would be smart that I quarantine in our apartment’s bedroom until we knew. I cannot explain how mentally draining this has been. I have felt trapped and helpless. I even tried to do a couple Zoom meetings from our bedroom and I cannot tell you how awkward that was, just not being able to feel myself or professional. Marc has been amazing and not complained one bit. After Tuesday, I started calling the Quick Care office daily asking about my results. I kept thinking, I’m starting to feel better so maybe it’s not COVID. This morning when the phone rang and I heard I tested positive a whole new wave of emotions hit. Were some selfish (I can’t be trapped in here any longer, I wanted to put up Christmas decorations, this was the one weekend I had planned out to enjoy with Marc and get into the holiday spirit and now I can’t), yes they were. Other thoughts, how do I tell everyone, what do we do next, is everyone okay, when will they be safe, why does this suck so badly? Now, I’m feeling not only am I trapped and everything I touch could be affected, now I get to share this with everyone I was in close contact with since last Thursday. Most people were so friendly and understanding which was greatly appreciated. Some, as expected asked questions to which I did my best to answer.
After that was done, I tried to stay strong and just couldn’t any longer. I sat on the ground and just let everything out from I’m so sad I can’t do anything I had planned for us, to how/why did I continue to work when I wasn’t feeling well, to please God don’t let anyone I was with be sick, to how am I going to be in this room another 3 days and just cried. Then, I got excited that according to the Doctor’s Office, I could go back to daily living after 10 days of when my symptoms started as long as I was better. Immediately followed by, will I be judged, will people be afraid of me, will they understand…
I share this not at all for attention. I know I’m blessed that my case is mild and please know I am extremely grateful for that. I share this because we need to listen to our bodies and realize it’s okay to ask for help, cancel appointments, take a nap, take a day off and share our emotions.
I know many people who may read this have had COVID and can relate to these feelings. It’s hard to truly understand what it feels like until you’ve been on this end of it or have taken care of someone who has it. I hope and pray this virus ends soon, as I feel what it’s done to people mentally is almost worse than the actual sickness. To those who have lost loved ones due to this virus, or lost family members and couldn’t be with them because of COVID (I lost my grandfather in May and couldn’t be there), I am sorry.
Praying for a healthy 2021 for all.
Thank you for letting me share my side of the story.
